


Crush Me

by greenshi



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: AU I guess???, Multi, fabian doesnt get traumatized au, idk man fuck canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenshi/pseuds/greenshi
Summary: "So, you got any little crushes on anyone here?”Fig really thinks about her party.
Relationships: Figueroth Faeth/all of the bad kids
Comments: 7
Kudos: 88





	Crush Me

**Author's Note:**

> I had abandoned this for a while, but I finally decided to finish it and post it. Not super edited but whatever! Enjoy!

“So, you got any little crushes on anyone here?”

In the haze of dragon spice and exhaustion, long after Sandralynn had run off with Garthy and the other members of her party had fallen asleep, Fig thought on this question. It was a line of thought she didn’t often travel down, but she let herself wander down this path, just for tonight. A crush. Did she have a crush on anyone. Easy question, it should be so easy. 

Was a crush what she felt towards Gorgug? Her bandmate, her friend, the person who understood what it felt like to search for a missing parent. Sure, the “are you my dad” thing was funny, but she got it, y’know? Out of all of her friends, she spent the most time with him, and that was fine with her. She could spend all the time in the world next to Gorgug, jamming out or fighting monsters or just talking about whatever was on their minds, no matter how strange the subject was.

Was a crush what she felt towards Adaine? The girl who killed the lunch lady on her first day of school, who panicked and fought and carried on despite it all. Adaine was truly brave despite the fear, and so smart despite the setbacks, and Fig admired her, for she was all that Fig felt she wasn’t. Fig jumped at whatever popped into her head first, and felt before she thought, and despite the bravo and the flare, she was scared of many things. Adaine made her feel balanced, made her feel complete in some way.

Was a crush what she felt towards Fabian? He was loud and proud enough for her, with a similar care for their friends just behind that. She remembers the gifts he gave them all fondly, how he tried to hide that it was him all along. Despite what everyone else says, she knows that it’s hard to tell just how much she cares for the people in her life, and all that they’ve done for her. She wanted him to break down her walls, and to break down his walls return, leaving them both vulnerable for each other.

Was a crush what she felt towards Kristen? Kristen, who changed so much in the short time Fig had known her, was always a source of brightness in even the darkest times. She almost reminded Fig of herself before the horns grew in, mixed with her current self a bit. Cheery and loved, Kristen was also rebellious and doubtful, never staying still or quiet. She met gods and stared death in the face on multiple occasions, but pressed on everyday in search of her truth. Fig wanted to be there when she found that truth, and see what was finally worth the devotion of the radiant Kristen Applebees.

Was a crush what she felt towards Riz? The order to her chaos, the silence to her music, the boy who forgave her for all the shit she’s pulled despite her feeling that she didn’t deserve it. She lead him down countless dead ends, put him in dangerous situations, and nearly even killed him just a couple days ago. Any yet, he never held a grudge, never stopped her from dragging him along to spy on Porter some more. Someone that patient and accepting of her was a rarity, and she knew she couldn’t let someone like that go.

Fig stared up at the ceiling, listening to the old wood creak and the water below her sway. Why does a crush need to be so complicated? What even is a crush? A familiar song began to play in the back of her mind, but she silenced it. Not now fantasy Haddaway, this is serious. 

Ugh, it doesn’t even matter. Even if she did have a crush on some of her party members, it wouldn’t go anywhere. Gorgug and Kristen are already dating people, Fabian’s obsessed with Aelwen, Adaine seems completely uninterested in romantic stuff, and Riz seems to be married to his work. Though, do crushes even need to be mutual? Are you even supposed to have more than one? Ugh. This sucks.

“Mm…”

Something moved in the dark. Looking over, Fig saw Ragh rolling over and blinking his eyes. She tried to look away before he noticed her, but they made eye contact before she could.

“Fig?” he mumbled, seemingly still half asleep.

“Oh, uh, hey.” 

Ragh lifted his head on to his arm, turned on his crystal, and sighed. 

“Fuck, it’s late. Why are you up?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Ragh shrugged.

“I dunno. I was having this dream, and I guess it woke me up.” he said. Fig stiffened, hand instinctively grabbing her bass.

“Oh, no, not, like, that kind of dream. It was just a normal one, I think. Wasn’t anything like the last one I got.” he clarified, raising his free hand defensively. 

“And it wasn’t, like, a really cool dream where you were rich and powerful and just too good for everyone? It wasn’t like that?” Fig asked.

“That’s...really specific.”

“It was just an example.” 

Ragh didn’t seem to fully believe her, but he did drop the subject.

“Nah, it wasn’t like that. I dreamt that...I was hanging out with Dayne again.”

Ragh’s expression fell as he described it.

“It was just, like, super normal, which was weird? Like, we were just chilling at his place, playing this bloodrush crystal game he had, eating snacks, cracking jokes. I left to go grab something, and then I just...woke up.” he explained. He didn’t look sad, really. He looked more so disappointed, not in himself, but in what happened and what could have been.

“...Can I ask something? About you and Dayne?” Fig asked. She knew this probably wasn’t an appropriate time to be asking, but that never stopped her before, and it won’t stop her now.

“Uh, sure, I guess.” Ragh mumbled.

“How...How did you know that you liked Dayne? Like, what made you realize that you had a crush?”

Ragh raised his eyebrows a bit, surprised by the question.

“We don’t have to use Dayne, by the way.” Fig added. “If you’ve had other crushes, we can talk about those instead, if that makes you more comfortable.”

Ragh nodded, then thought for a moment. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to come up with the right way to get his thoughts across. 

“I...I was dealing with a lot of repression last year. I guess you already knew that. For Dayne, I kinda always knew I liked him that way, like subconsciously. I couldn’t actually admit to myself, though, until I talked to Jawbone about it.”

Fig listened intently, but this wasn’t really the answer she had hoped for.

“But what does it feel like to, y’know, like someone? How do you know? Is it just liking being around them? Is it being around them already and knowing you’re compatible? Is it just finding them hot?” Fig questioned. Ragh shrugged.

“That’s up to you, I think. I know, for me, it’s a pretty even mix of physical attraction and personality, but I’ve met people who lean more heavily one way or the other, or people who’s attraction is based on some completely different factors. Just go with whatever feels right.” Ragh explained. Fig listened until he was done talking, put her face in her pillow, and sighed loudly. From nearby, she heard Riz rouse from his sleep for a quick moment, before falling unconscious again. 

“You...good?” Ragh asked, looking concerned. Fig raised her head. 

“I mean...no? Not really? Ugh, I don’t know. Romance is confusing, and I hate it.” Fig complained. 

“Maybe it’s not for you then. Maybe you’re aromantic or something.” Ragh commented.

“I mean, maybe, but I want to be in a relationship at some point. It’s just…” Fig paused, considering something for a moment. “Can I tell you a secret, Ragh? And you can’t tell anyone this, alright.”

“Of course.”

“I...I think I might have a crush on my entire adventuring party? Is that...Is that normal?”

“Sure it is.”

“And I know that it won’t go anywhere. I’m…” Fig rested her head back on her pillow, muffling her words slightly. “I don’t wanna fuck any of this up, y’know? I really care about them, and I don’t want to make it awkward or lose anybody. They’ve already put up with so much of my bullshit, I don’t want to make it worse.”

Ragh frowned. He sat up and moved towards Fig, who looked to be on the edge of tears. He raised one hand, hovering it above her shoulder.

“May I?” he asked.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t. I’d start bawling if you did” Fig mumbled, voice weak. Ragh retracted his hand, instead opting to lean his head to the side so that he was nearly level with Fig’s.

“Fig?”

“Yeah?”

“You know you’re friends really care about you, right?”

Fig couldn’t help it, she felt tears well up in her eyes. She sniffled.

“But, how? I’m not...I’m not genuine like they are! I don’t know how to be.” Fig sobbed, trying to keep quiet despite the harshness of her breaths. “I-I was a happy, preppy kid when I was younger, but then my horns came in, and Gilear left, and all of my old friends left me alone, and I changed so much, and I can’t...I don’t know how to be myself anymore, y’know? Acting like other people is easy, ‘cause then you know who they are and what they want. Wouldn’t anyone prefer someone like that, rather than someone like this?”

“Fig…”

Fig gripped her own arms, pulling into herself as her thoughts and words spiraled out of her control. Ragh looked at her, and took a risk.

“Fig...do you really think your friends would prefer to hang out with Hilda Hilda from Hilda Street?” he joked. Fig let out a noise that was either a scoff or a laugh.

“And Hilda Boulevard. She lives at both.”

With that brief moment of regained control, Fig began to pull herself back together. 

“Fig, I want you to know, you are genuine. No matter how many times you change how you look or how you act or what you want, you are still your genuine self, and there will always be people who’ve got your back. People change all the time, but it doesn’t make whatever they felt before any less real, y’know?” Ragh told her, offering a gentle smile. Fig sniffled, then smiled weakly back.

“Thanks Ragh.” she said. Ragh wasn’t sure if she believed all of what he said, but she seemed better at the very least. “I’m glad we brought you with us. You’re a good friend.”

“I’m glad you think so. And you too, Fig.”

Ragh yawned and ran a hand through his head, scratching the back of his neck.

“I should go back to sleep, I’m sure we’ve got a lot more shit to do tomorrow. You should get some rest too.” he said. Fig nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll try. G’night.”

“Night.”

As Ragh lied back down and turned away from Fig, she closed her eyes. The sounds of the ocean and the smells of salt and booze were clear and distant. She felt...lighter would be the closest word. She had told someone a secret she hadn’t told anyone else before, not even really herself. It felt good to have it out of her own head, out for someone else to comment on and help with. She felt good.

Before she even realized it, the rocking of the city and the silence in her head lulled her into a restful, dreamless sleep.


End file.
